Classified: Learning isn’t Linear

Having had the privilege of teaching a vast range of students and learners, there are mental and emotional patterns in each demographic I have interacted with and continue to do so.

Tendencies, as a Japanese student of mine tenderly put it. Instead of looking at this as putting someone in a box, I think, for me at least, it shapes how I interact with one’s background, culture, upbringing.

Interestingly, I developed this sense of understanding strongly only after I started teaching full-time. I never looked at someone through the lens of their nationality or race, ever. Perhaps to a fault.

Why I have made such a strange introduction to this post is because of what I’m going to briefly discuss - the Singaporean Parent and expectations therein.

If you are a parent who happens to be Singaporean, I’m talking about and to you :)

Being Singaporean myself, I never want to jump on the bandwagon of heavily criticizing my own “kind” - which seems to be a social norm.

Coming from a culture where we do not have naturally-occurring discourse and debate socially, criticism is seen almost as a mythical, negative entity that is used as a catalyst to “get better.”

Never seen as something to lift, challenge, and build from. This culture is mirrored through the school system we have here, and it’s residual effects on the kids it educates. Good, challenging - I am always passionate about helping people understand the psychological aspects of the system - hence my course designed around it.

For one - the system is almost entirely goal-based, and in turn, the thought-process it influences. No love is given to the journey of getting to the destination, but just about the destination itself.

You may say that this is reflected in most Asian education systems, even trickling into the West - which I completely agree with.

The only difference is that, from my years of teaching, experience and nuance in it seems to change this.

What do I mean? Well, it’s like this.

I’ve taught numerous Korean students. Academic, Business, Lifestyle. The works. Throughout my time with them, there have been highs (actually improving their skills and in turn, ability) and lows (not being able to successfully ace an event after which) - but, with the trust, care, and mutual respect a tutor or teacher builds with their student (me with them) I’ve noticed that most of them have somewhat, unconsciously, revised how they view education itself. Not all, lol, but most.

They talk of how the classes offer perspective, joy, conversation, colour - and seem to embrace the experience of learning - which makes me emotional to think about.

My Singaporean teenage students seem to have a similar stance. They enjoy class. They laugh, they joke, they express themselves. They learn.

I never teach for the paper. I teach how to get to the paper and develop skills that helps one achieve that goal, while allowing these skills to help in life. Why waste such precious years simply chasing a grade, when we could help them understand why they are chasing that grade. Cognition and creativity stems from awareness.

With this, there will be bumps in the road. Inevitably so. I love these, as these help in building the awareness mentioned.

If interested, I will start a mini series chronicling real cases that showcase this.

This is where I tie back to the crux of the matter - the parent.

My students have told me to care about things parent-wise. I ask them what, and they say they manage questions like, why do you laugh so much? What homework do you actually have to do? Is she strict enough.

While my interactions with my fellow citizens academically have been beautiful, they have also been the most challenging of my career.

Joy is not associated with learning here. Ebbs and flows are not associated with learning here. Goals are primarily placed onto the shoulders of the tutors because of the financial component of being paid for just that.

So, what I have noticed is that, if the student is doing remarkably well, emotionally, intellectually, academically, but loses some steam, let’s say during the holiday season, and does not ace the paper after that or, falters in a paper where they are lacking interest in, practice in - the classes are blamed and oftentimes - cut.

Some have beautiful sentiments to share, some do it in a way that is cold, and dehumanizing, but the intention is almost always the same.

The most memorable text I received was from the mother of a boy that relied on rote learning - memorizing vast amounts of essays and text, tweaking them to produce results. I tried to forge understanding in him that it was not a sustainable form of longer learning, which he understood, but would take some time to adopt.

We had a good run, with him doing well in several papers, only not to do do well in one. His mother simply stated that he didn’t do well, and that classes are canceled.

Class canceling is almost always completely fine. I think it is, in fact, necessary. Finding a good fit is important. Personality. Schedule. Learning style. Vibe.

It’s just the manner of which it is done. After that text, I felt like a tool that was returned back to its shop. The rapport, the relationship, the reality of my time spent there was nothing, but a mere inconvenience. I’ve heard stories of parents even threatening their students with class cancellation, to make them study more.

Being a tutor, I completely understand the financial strain and the time given by the client. It’s something I take very seriously. However - tutoring, unless explicitly mentioned, is an intimate relationship. And all relationships are not perfect.

One of the other noteworthy things my Japanese student told me was one time, where I was heavily under-prepared for a class. I looked at him and apologized to which he smiled and said, it’s okay, you care, that’s all that matters.

It struck me in the chest. Being someone who just fell into the profession, I had never thought of it consciously, until that moment. I was simply viewing each student as a person that I could help with my supposed talents. Another mother of a student I had recently told me that regardless of the grade, she was happy her son was actually enjoying English - a subject he had hated before. Again, a strike at the heart, a positive one.

Make no mistake - I have amazing relationships with most of my students, the parents, and the learners I have interacted with. I am not the best, by any means. I’m human. Teaching other humans.

Singapore is well-known for its education, but I would be remiss not to address how it can dehumanize the very people studying and teaching it. I hope that we, as a society, will start to view life, learning, and grades in a healthier manner.

And to the Singaporean and to any parent that wants the best for their child - remember, studying is temporary, learning is forever.

Allow your child to make connections, choices, and have failures, with trust in someone to help them succeed after, and always.

And to the fellow Singaporeans that resonate - thank you and I’m sorry - for the box that houses us all.